Guard personal details, spot romance scams, video-call first, meet in public, and tell a friend.
Meeting someone new should be exciting, not nerve-wracking. The good news is that a few simple habits dramatically lower the risk of online dating, and once they become second nature you can relax and enjoy the part that matters: getting to know someone. Here's a practical guide, from your first message to your first date and beyond.
Protect your personal information early
In the early days of talking to someone, there is no reason to hand over the details that could be used against you. Hold back on:
- Your home address, or enough detail to find it (the exact gym, the local you're always in, your street).
- Your workplace and daily routine.
- Financial information of any kind — and never, ever send money or share bank details, card numbers, or one-time passcodes.
- Anything that could be used to reset your other accounts, like your full date of birth, or answers to common security questions (first pet, mother's maiden name).
A good rule of thumb: keep conversations on the app you met on until you've built some trust. Scammers love to move you quickly to a private channel where there's no moderation and no record.
Know the signs of a romance scam
Romance scams are one of the most common — and most costly — forms of online fraud. They follow a recognisable pattern, and once you know it, it's much easier to spot.
Be cautious of anyone who:
- Professes strong feelings unusually fast ("love bombing"), often before you've even met.
- Always has a reason they can't video call or meet in person — they're working offshore, in the military overseas, or "travelling for work."
- Has a story with details that quietly shift over time, or photos that look too polished or like stock images.
- Steers the conversation, sooner or later, toward money: an emergency, a stuck shipment, a "guaranteed" crypto or investment opportunity, or a request for gift cards.
You can sanity-check a suspicious profile with a reverse image search of their photos. If anything feels off, trust that feeling. A genuine person will understand you wanting to take things at a safe pace.
Try a video call before you meet
A short video chat is one of the most underrated safety tools. It's a low-pressure way to confirm the person matches their photos, hear how they actually talk, and get a feel for whether the conversation flows in real life. It also weeds out a lot of bad actors, because scammers and catfish tend to avoid live video. If someone repeatedly dodges a quick call, treat that as useful information.
Meeting in person, safely
When you're ready to meet, a little planning makes all the difference:
- Pick a busy, public place. A café, a bar, a daytime walk somewhere with people around. Save the secluded scenic spots for when you know each other.
- Arrange your own transport, both ways. Don't get picked up from home and don't rely on your date for a lift. Keep your own way out under your control.
- Stay sharp. Pace yourself with alcohol, keep an eye on your drink, and don't leave it unattended.
- Keep your phone charged and your essentials (keys, money, ID) on you, not in a coat you might leave at the table.
Tell a friend where you'll be
Before any first date, tell someone you trust who you're meeting, where, and when you expect to be home. Share your live location with them for the evening — both iPhone and Android make this easy — and agree on a check-in time or a code word you can text if you want a discreet exit. It takes two minutes and it means someone always has your back.
Trust your instincts — and use the tools
If something feels wrong, you don't owe anyone an explanation. You are allowed to end a conversation, leave a date, and never reply again. On Lamp, you can unmatch, block, and report at any time, straight from the conversation. Blocking immediately stops someone seeing your profile or contacting you, and reports go to our moderation team.
Where to report
If you ever feel you're in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services first — they're the fastest route to help.
For fraud, scams, and online crime, report to your country's official reporting body — most have a dedicated cybercrime or fraud-reporting service you can reach online or by phone. A quick search for "report online fraud" alongside where you live will point you to the right authority. Reporting helps protect not just you but everyone the same person might target next, so it's always worth doing — even if you didn't lose anything.
The bottom line
None of this should make dating feel scary. The vast majority of people on dating apps are exactly who they say they are and want the same thing you do: a real connection. Treat these habits the way you'd treat wearing a seatbelt — automatic, unremarkable, and there so you can get on with enjoying the ride. Stay curious, stay kind, and keep a little bit of healthy caution in your back pocket.
For more on finding the right people in the first place, see our guide to the best AI dating app and how AI matchmaking works.
