Paperclipping

Paperclipping is the pattern of periodically popping back into someone's life with a brief, low-effort message — "hey, how are you?", a meme, a reaction to an old conversation — for no purpose beyond resetting their attention on you and confirming you still have it. After the reset is confirmed, the person disappears again until the next reset. The term draws on the Microsoft Office paperclip assistant, which appeared unbidden, offered nothing useful, and kept coming back regardless of whether it was wanted.

It is distinct from benching and orbiting, though all three share the same swipe-culture DNA. Benching is keeping someone warm as a deliberate reserve — the contact is managed to prevent them from moving on. Orbiting is passive social-media presence after an exit — no direct contact, but sustained visibility. Paperclipping is the intermittent-reset pattern specifically: the person is neither a kept option nor a passive observer, but someone who returns with just enough engagement to confirm their hold on your attention, then leaves again. The return is always brief and the departure is always prompt.

Like benching and orbiting, paperclipping is structurally encouraged by the surplus of low-investment connections that swipe apps generate. When the cost of any individual connection is near zero, using one as an occasional attention-check carries no meaningful penalty. The person being paperclipped is one of many; the return visit is calculated, not impulsive. Lamp's curated model concentrates introductions on people matched for genuine compatibility, removing the surplus that makes paperclipping rational and costless.